Having read of the unspeakable skeletons in the closet of writer Alice Munro, I will never be able to re-read her books. I am one of those who cannot separate the art from the artist, at least not when it comes to this kind of crime: protecting a pedophile husband and berating her victimized child.
The little girl, who was 9 when this horror began for her, is now Andrea Robin Skinner, a middle-aged woman who suffered lifelong reverberations from her trauma at the hands of her step-father. I feel disgust at her real father too, for his daughter reached to him for help and he did nothing. When parents do not protect their child, it is neglect. On the part of Andrea’s mother, Munro, it’s also sociopathic and narcissistic. Andrea Skinner suffered PTSD including bulimia, insomnia and such stress that it ruined her later university studies.Personally, I would say I believe the deep hurt and sense of betrayal at the hands of her mother will be something that she’ll always feel. I say this from experience, having suffered at the hands of a violent pedophile myself, at age 4, all day and every day for a whole year. I was rescued by an aunt. I know from experience what this does to a child’s psyche. One’s worldview is forever changed: a child fearful and distrustful, given to screaming fits and nervous tics, withdrawn, hating oneself and feeling dirty, unworthy. It’s not a great way to grow up, to say the least.
Part of the way I helped my recovery was to write a memoir, Rag Dolls and Rage, and another part was to visit a psychotherapist twice a month for a year, whilst writing it. My book was published in 2019; in other words, I spent decades suffering in silence before I grappled with my inner monsters.
I know that Andrea Skinner is going to receive all kinds of cruel accusations, cyberbullying and insults for opening up publicly. We’ve all seen what trolls are capable of. However, there are enough of us that will believe her, will feel empathy and hopefully stand up for her. I’m doing so, with this post, but I will also try to reach out to her with a message of support. Perhaps after the swarm of traffic she’ll be under just now, having only just told her story.
I am glad she has ‘let it out’ so to speak. It’s part of the recovery. I know it. And we have a right to recover as well as we can, even though it will never be one hundred percent.